Spurs Plumbing New Depths, Arsenal's Trophy Drought Deepens: Revisiting the Season's Funniest Predictions

April 20, 2026

Back in March, we sketched out ten deliberately absurd scenarios for how the Premier League campaign might conclude. The sort of wild conjecture that seemed safely ridiculous at the time. Now, with the finish line in sight, it's rather alarming how many of these fever dreams are becoming uncomfortable reality—or at least refusing to go away entirely.

Tottenham's Inexorable Slide

The most grimly fascinating subplot involves Spurs. What felt like dark comedy three months ago has calcified into something approaching inevitability. They've only recently tumbled into the bottom three, yet their momentum downwards has felt utterly unstoppable for weeks.

Credit where it's due: nobody weaponises their own supporters' despair quite like Spurs. Just as their fanbase edges towards acceptance, the club dangles fresh false hope from the basement, only to snatch it away again. The Brighton encounter was genuinely cruel. Then Forest—down 1-0 at half-time with barely a shot created—somehow lost 4-1, with Morgan Gibbs-White, the lad who fancied joining them last summer, bagging a hat-trick. It's almost Shakespearean in its predictability.

Even West Ham's inability to trouble Crystal Palace earlier in the season became part of the conspiracy. Had the Hammers actually mounted a proper challenge before the 90th-minute scramble, Spurs might have finally accepted their fate. Instead, fevered "if we can beat Wolves" chatter has bubbled back up. Spoiler: they won't beat Wolves. Their next victory will probably come at Chelsea, after relegation has already been confirmed.

Arsenal's Cruel Irony

The red half of north London plays a similar game with cosmic injustice. Just when Arsenal remembered they're genuinely capable footballers—particularly at the Etihad—the moment passed. Getting knocked out of the FA Cup by Southampton wasn't on anyone's bingo card for humorous outcomes. Finishing runners-up in everything felt more likely.

Here's a genuinely unsettling thought: if Spurs somehow stay up through sheer incompetence, and Arsenal finish second in the Premier League whilst failing in Europe—perhaps courtesy of some Harry Kane-shaped misery—which club would actually be happier? The answer, depressingly, is the side sitting 17th. Football is genuinely ridiculous.

Man City's Overlooked Treble

City are now genuine odds-on favourites to complete the domestic treble, matching their own previous achievement. Yet nobody will care. This season's narrative belongs entirely to Arsenal's collapse and Spurs' comedy of errors. City's success is merely supporting cast. In future years, the defining image won't be Guardiola or Haaland—it'll be someone with an Arsenal water bottle at Stamford Bridge.

European Dominance Through Depth

English football's Thursday night competitions tell an interesting story. No English team has been eliminated from the Europa League or Conference League by non-English opposition for nearly two seasons. Palace remain on course for the Conference, while Forest and Villa will likely contest the Europa final.

This reflects a fundamental truth: the Premier League's advantage isn't that its best team beats everyone else's best team. It's that England's 17th-best side outmatches most countries' fifth-best. That depth, combined with the removal of undeserving Champions League dropouts from the Europa League, has created a new European hierarchy.

The Chelsea Catastrophe

Chelsea have somehow become worse than both Spurs and Arsenal across their last six matches. They've managed one win—against Port Vale, no less—and five defeats. They're now closer to 14th place than the top five. That's genuinely extraordinary for a club of their stature.

The Predictions That Didn't Quite Land

Liverpool's Champions League victory never materialised, so we'll settle for them qualifying comfortably and hoping that muddles the "Slot Out" narrative sufficiently. Brentford and Sunderland in European football seems unlikely, though there remain some delightfully complicated scenarios involving Villa and sixth place that hurt the brain.