Ranking Tottenham's 28 Player-Manager Candidates: From Souza to Ben Davies

Igor Tudor has exited the building, leaving ENIC scrambling for an interim solution. The search for a permanent boss has hit a brick wall – no sensible candidate would touch this mess right now. Enter the increasingly desperate notion of a Premier League player-manager, with Ben Davies emerging as the leading contender.

But which other members of this struggling squad might fancy a crack at the dugout? We've ranked the entire group by their managerial credentials, from the thoroughly unsuitable to the merely questionable.

28. Souza

His English lessons probably won't cover the industrial vocabulary required to scream instructions as Xavi Simons gives the ball away for the 427th time.

27. Randal Kolo Muani

Few expect him to show much commitment in what will almost certainly be his final eight weeks at the club.

26. Wilson Odobert

Remember that early-season promise to "take on more responsibility"? No, neither does he.

25. Xavi Simons

Seems genuinely invested in watching Tottenham sink so he can escape with his reputation intact.

24. Mathys Tel

The internal monologue writes itself: "Neither of us wants to be here, but here we are, and I'm not taking a 50 per cent pay cut to manage in the Championship." Oddly compelling.

23. Radu Dragusin

A Premier League manager sporting a topknot? The English football establishment would never recover.

22. Destiny Udogie

The name alone suggests otherwise.

21. Yves Bissouma

Plenty of Spurs and Premier League experience under his belt, but his contract expires this summer and he's been angling for an exit. Not exactly invested.

20. Mohamed Kudus

His perfectly reasonable demand that teammates simply hand him the ball upon his return from injury might not resonate with the squad's collective mindset.

19. Guglielmo Vicario

Already intimately acquainted with the half-time boos awaiting him at the Stadium of Light in his first match. The Premier League's social media team would have a field day.

18. Dejan Kulusevski

He's had plenty of time on the sidelines to identify Tottenham's problems – and has probably worked out that his absence is part of the puzzle. Rushing back from injury to manage might not be the answer though.

17. Richarlison

Picture it: unbuttoning his shirt to celebrate an offside goal, tie flapping in the wind. Comedy gold.

16. Pedro Porro

The man "smashes" things and doesn't shy away from kicking people in interviews, though Tudor's tenure suggests that approach doesn't work with this particular group of sensitive souls. He's also called the project a "disaster" – hardly endearing him to the hierarchy. Still, watching him wave his arms from the technical area whenever Spurs win an attacking throw-in would be entertainment in itself.

15. Lucas Bergvall

Every scouting report on Bergvall mentions his exceptional football intelligence – a catch-all term covering everything beyond the basics. At 20, surely that's the perfect foundation for managing a Premier League side.

14. Brandon Austin

Third-choice goalkeepers spend most of their time doing nothing, which theoretically leaves plenty of space for tactical contemplation. Problem is, they're also perfectly content earning £15,000 a week to do precisely that.

13. Dominic Solanke

Richarlison wouldn't get a sniff, and what better audition for Thomas Tuchel's England squad than playing every minute for a sinking ship, starved of service and bereft of goals?

12. Antonin Kinsky

If Igor Tudor's management truly finished his playing career in Madrid, he might as well try the other side of the clipboard.

11. Djed Spence

Tottenham would be onto something if Spence could transmit the self-belief he radiates to the rest of this timid outfit.

10. Conor Gallagher

The perfect endgame to his undercover Chelsea sabotage mission: arrive via Atletico Madrid, accomplish nothing on the pitch, then orchestrate the final descent from the dugout.

9. Rodrigo Bentancur

Ticks the "looks immaculate in a suit" box without question. Spurs fans might find comfort in a dignified, aesthetically pleasing relegation.

8. Kevin Danso

A breath of fresh air after enduring an Arsenal-supporting manager all season. His response to Arsenal's title push – "I couldn't care less about what they do" – has already won hearts.

7. Archie Gray

His ranking says volumes about his maturity as a footballer but even more about the apathetic rabble surrounding him.

6. James Maddison

The post-match interview specialist who came across as a genuine football thinker during a Monday Night Football appearance in December. Think Tim Sherwood for the TikTok era – and that's not entirely meant as an insult.

5. Pape Matar Sarr

Strong candidate thanks to evident on-pitch intelligence, but also because his father Sidate is a manager in Senegal and previously coached goalkeepers for the national team.

4. Cristian Romero

If the Tottenham hierarchy remain convinced that confrontational management is the relegation antidote – as they were with Tudor – then Romero's your man. He'd tear feathers from the cockerel badge with his teeth. He's got that future manager aura, with whispers of an Atletico Madrid reunion with Diego Simeone fuelling speculation about his next move.

3. Joao Palhinha

Benefits enormously from being one of the older squad members and operating in a position that historically produces future managers. That's frankly good enough for Tottenham right now.

2. Micky van de Ven

His own words tell the story. Van de Ven and Romero essentially coached Tottenham through a Europa League run, walking up to the manager and demanding defensive adjustments. At Frankfurt, they insisted on dropping deeper despite leading 1-0, and the boss responded by tasking them with ensuring the entire squad followed suit. "Cuti and I were just screaming at everyone," Van de Ven explained. They already manage the team from the pitch.

1. Ben Davies

Player-managers were historically bit-part performers, and Davies is the definition of bit-part at Spurs. He knows the club intimately, understands the modern Premier League, and boasts 363 appearances in a shirt. He holds his UEFA A coaching licence. Most importantly, he appears to be one of the few people at the club who actually gives a damn.

Davies ticks virtually every box except the admittedly rather important one of having managed before. Among a field of thoroughly mad options, he might just be the sanest choice available.