The Manchester United Circus: Why Solskjaer's 'Shock Return' Isn't Shocking at All

The Manchester United managerial merry-go-round continues to spin wildly, and the headlines being generated would have you believe we're witnessing genuine plot twists. We're not. We're watching the predictable unfold in fancy dress.

Let's start with the elephant in the room: Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is back in the conversation to manage Manchester United. The Daily Mirror, in their infinite wisdom for generating click-bait, has served up a feast of headlines suggesting he's either "completely scrapping" his management plans or about to hold "fresh talks" with the club. The reality? Far less dramatic.

Solskjaer wasn't contemplating a return to the dugout because, frankly, no one was asking him. His last managerial stint ended in dismissal from Besiktas after just seven months in August. Before that, he'd spent nearly three years at Old Trafford following his previous roles at Molde and Cardiff—hardly a glittering CV. The notion that he's now made "wage demands" is equally fanciful. The man would likely pay for the privilege of managing United again, and Sir Jim Ratcliffe is probably already calculating how to make that happen.

The Arsenal-Liverpool goalless draw that preceded all this United chaos provided precious little to excite, save for Gabriel Martinelli's overly enthusiastic challenges. It maintained Arsenal's six-point perch atop the Premier League and kept Liverpool in the Champions League spots, but spawned the season's most tedious headlines.

Speaking of Martinelli, the media hysteria over a potential FA ban has been nothing short of comical. The Daily Mirror, Liverpool.com, and Football.London all ran variations of "Martinelli learns fate" and "punishment decision" stories—all to report that he wouldn't face disciplinary action. The Athletic at least had the decency to state this plainly from the outset. What a scoop: thing that was never going to happen doesn't happen.

Then there's Benjamin Sesko, suddenly positioned as some sort of oracle on United's managerial future. When asked for his four-word prediction, the RB Leipzig striker delivered: "Great things are coming." Thrilling stuff.

Roy Keane, meanwhile, weighed in with his own "shock call" regarding United's next manager. That shock? He reckons Eddie Howe—a 48-year-old, English, trophy-winning Premier League manager with European pedigree—might do the job. Howe currently sits directly above United in the table. Truly, we are living in extraordinary times.

Keane did take aim at Sir Alex Ferguson's lingering influence over the club and the deference with which the legendary manager continues to be treated. But the headlines suggesting he "blamed" Ferguson for United's current predicament twisted his actual words. It's a fair critique of how the past casts a shadow, but hardly the smoking gun some outlets suggested.

The truth is, Manchester United's situation remains a genuine mess—but not because of any shock twists or surprise candidates. It's a mess because the club's leadership has lurched from one decision to another with Sir Jim Ratcliffe's billionaire interference adding extra layers of chaos. The "shock calls" aren't shocking because they're exactly what you'd expect: Solskjaer because he's desperate enough to consider it, Howe because he's actually competent, and Keane's endorsement because he's never one to hold back.

The real scandal isn't any of the above. It's that we're still pretending any of this is surprising.