The Arsenal Bottlejob Chronicles: Ranking 25 Culprits from Dowman to Arteta

The Gunners' brief respite from their traditional late-season wobbles has come to an abrupt end. A hammering from City in the domestic cup final followed swiftly by an embarrassing Championship scalp at Southampton's hands has left Arsenal's quadruple dreams in tatters. What becomes of their Champions League and Premier League ambitions now? Will this be the year they finish empty-handed?

The Southampton thrashing in particular prompted plenty of soul-searching, and ahead of Tuesday's Sporting clash, here's our definitive ranking of the 25 Arsenal bottlejobs, updated to reflect their most recent capitulations.

25. Max Dowman (n/a)

Give him the armband, stick him on the plane, or perhaps just leave him out entirely. No real bottling opportunity here.

24. Mikel Merino (19)

Arrived off the bench to level matters against Manchester United but couldn't prevent defeat. He'd played no role in the limp Liverpool stalemate—widely regarded as the moment the wheels began to wobble—weeks earlier. Foot surgery has kept him away from the blame game since.

23. Myles Lewis-Skelly (21)

Absent from the last ten Premier League fixtures, appearing in just 312 minutes across the campaign. He managed an hour against Southampton but you can't really bottle it when you've barely kicked a ball. His England U21 showing against Moldova at least hints at his potential.

22. Christian Nørgaard (n/a)

Looked every inch the midfielder who shouldn't have joined Arsenal in the first place against Southampton. No bottling evident—simply a midfielder lacking sharpness and perhaps the calibre required.

21. Declan Rice (20)

Arsenal supporters have spent considerable energy suggesting he should captain the side, as though the armband might somehow transmit his quality to the rest of the team. He took a lesson from Rodri in the City final, but there's no shame in that.

20. Eberechi Eze (15)

Injury ruled him out of both cup defeats, yet he's somehow managed to make his difficult debut season entirely Arteta's fault. Apparently the manager should simply let him do whatever he fancies.

19. Gabriel Magalhaes (10)

Perhaps the Premier League's finest defender, which paradoxically places him in genuine danger—the higher the pedestal, the harder the fall. He recovered from the Wolves calamity to deliver his customary assured displays against City and Southampton, even providing the assist for Gyokeres' equaliser, though he needed Mosquera to bail him out on one occasion.

18. Viktor Gyokeres (17)

Being largely ineffective all season offers a certain protection—you can't bottle what isn't expected of you. Khusanov had him shackled for most of the Carabao Cup final, but four international goals during the break, including a crucial penalty for Sweden's World Cup qualification, appear to have restored his confidence. He arrived off the bench to score nicely against Southampton, though it proved immaterial.

17. William Saliba (16)

Illness kept him out against Brentford, but he looked fine upon his return against Wolves. Neither goal can be pinned on him, and his defensive contributions have remained solid throughout this rough patch. He handled Haaland comfortably in the City final but looked rusty coming off the bench as Charles settled the Southampton tie.

16. Noni Madueke (14)

The Arsenal fanbase will soon resurrect him as a scapegoat after grudgingly accepting he might not be entirely terrible. Against City he at least attempted to trouble the opposition backline and showed similar directness off the bench at Southampton. Mercurial wingers are inherently inconsistent, and Madueke has performed precisely as such players do—no bottling here.

15. Cristhian Mosquera (18)

He took a battering from Igor Thiago in the Brentford encounter, though he won't be the first defender to suffer that fate. Clean sheets against Brighton and Everton followed, and while he looked uncertain against Southampton, true bottlings belong to more established figures than a 21-year-old.

14. Martin Odegaard (12)

Those who hadn't watched Odegaard this season might have blamed his absence for the Wolves staleness. His bench impact against Brentford supported that theory. Yet he'd featured in plenty of matches where Arsenal's attack looked similarly blunt. His 2022/23 performances suggested he thrives when others falter, though he squandered a glorious opportunity to break the deadlock against Southampton.

13. Jurrien Timber (4)

Saliba calls him "the best right-back in the world," and his season has been outstanding until his Wolves display—particularly one moment that epitomised Arsenal's collective implosion. Late on, under no pressure whatsoever with numerous passing options available, he hoofed the ball vaguely goalward with the precision of a five-year-old encountering a football for the first time.

He answered critics with a goal and two assists in his next three games, though Ben White's subsequent dreadful performances as his replacement rather more decisively silenced the doubters.

12. David Raya (3)

The Premier League's finest goalkeeper yet somehow still a figure of suspicion. He duly delivered a classic bottlejob moment in stoppage-time against Wolves, clattering into Gabriel—whether he'd called for the ball remains unclear, but catching it would've sufficed. He looked unconvincing against Brentford's high balls and appeared close to tears.

Kepa's Carabao Cup blunder offered some redemption, and three goals conceded in his last five appearances have quietened the more ridiculous questions about his ability.

11. Gabriel Jesus (8)

He shoved Mosquera over like a man in a panic during his final Premier League appearance against Wolves. He was fortunate to return for Southampton's second half, though it's difficult to call someone a bottlejob when they barely qualify as an Arsenal player anymore.

10. Kai Havertz (22)

Martin Keown's post-Wolves analysis hailed him as a vital match-winner Arsenal desperately needed back, despite his only decisive contributions arriving in the Champions League dead rubber against Kairat Almaty and the Carabao Cup semi-final second leg against Chelsea when qualification was already assured.

He proved consistently reliable before City and Southampton—Arsenal won 12 and drew one of his 13 prior appearances—but Keown's big-game claim crumbled spectacularly in those defeats. They've now lost two of the seven matches Havertz has started this season.

9. Kepa Arrizabalaga (n/a)

Eight wins from eight appearances followed by two defeats reads like textbook bottling, before you even consider his catastrophic Carabao Cup blunder and his historical cup competition calamities. He avoids higher placement only through limited Premier League minutes.

8. Riccardo Calafiori (5)

His sole goal came in the season's opening game, with assists confined to game two—suggesting he's been bottling since mid-August. He reached peak incompetence against Wolves, scoring an own goal on his second touch in stoppage time after blocking Edozie's shot with his first. He lost Fellows far too easily off the bench at Southampton for Charles' goal.

7. Martin Zubimendi (9)

Clearly an upgrade on his predecessor, he's scored lovely goals and looks comfortable at midfield's base. Yet perhaps he's become too comfortable? Manager's caution buzzwords appear to have encouraged safe passing over forward options. Early-season elegance has given way to frustration at his constraints. Barely noticeable against City, aside from when O'Reilly nipped ahead to score.

6. Ben White (13)

Increased opportunities through Timber's injury starkly illustrated he isn't Timber. Doku tormented him in the City final's second half as O'Reilly scored both goals, and Southampton targeted him relentlessly in the quarter-final, where he misjudged the cross for Stewart's opener. Arsenal would've recouped more selling him in the summer.

5. Leandro Trossard (6)

Billed as someone who "makes things happen," he's managed just one assist and no goals across his last 16 domestic appearances after five goals and three assists in his previous ten.

4. Piero Hincapie (11)

He watched Hugo Bueno channel Arjen Robben's spirit, cutting inside to curl a left-footed beauty past Raya in the Wolves draw without apparent intervention. Passive defending after scoring a lovely goal represents small-scale bottling, which escalated considerably against City. He looked bewildered by Semenyo's two-footedness and disappeared when O'Reilly scored twice from crosses.

3. Gabriel Martinelli (7)

The quintessential bottlejob candidate, he'd rank higher had he contributed more beforehand. Perfectly capable when circumstances favour him, yet he shrinks pathetically when required to step up, inhabiting Arsenal's left wing as a possession-loss zone. Dreadful against Wolves and arguably worse at Southampton, who neutralised his one-dimensional approach with ease. His profligacy in key moments compounded matters, and late-match petulance—shoving the referee—mirrored his pathetic football.

2. Bukayo Saka (2)

Not the expected number one? Apologies. We adore him and harbour no resentment toward his elevated wages—he deserves them. He opened the scoring against Wolves but proved horribly ineffective thereafter—his third goal contribution in 2026 and only the second since, a deflected effort against Brighton.

Where's the Saka who dismantled elite defenders? When did he last cut inside and curl one into the top corner? That used to happen fortnightly. The player Arsenal turned to for match-turning moments has become as impotent as anyone else.

1. Mikel Arteta (1)

Articles discussing his sacking and fans questioning his future while Arsenal remained title contenders perfectly illustrate his historical bottling reputation and widespread anxiety about avoiding another capitulation. His touchline demeanour against Brentford resembled a cold, lonely child, and he appeared genuinely terrified during the Wolves draw. Even at 2-0 up he looked as though he'd require hours of solitude and therapy to recover.

His January proclamation about living and playing with "enjoyment" rings hollow alongside promises of "courage and conviction." They've stumbled toward the title since, and after insisting City's hammering would define them "in the next few weeks, in the next few months, in the next few years," they were subsequently outplayed by Championship Southampton.

Arteta's invitation to "jump on the fun boat" now sinks with holes and desperate footballers bailing frantically.