Tuchel's World Cup XI "Revealed" – Though It's Literally Just the Team That Played Last Week

We've reached that peculiar juncture in the England calendar where the press must perform an elaborate pantomime: pretending they've uncovered classified information whilst simultaneously insisting a player has been "dropped" – ideally someone with a high profile and, as these things go, someone to whom particular scrutiny might attach.

The Sun's headline screams that Marcus Rashford has been axed and Bukayo Saka faces a fitness concern ahead of England's World Cup opener. The Mail reports that Tuchel has settled on his starting XI to face Croatia. Except here's the rub: you cannot drop someone who didn't start the previous match. You cannot drop someone who has begun only four of England's ten games this season.

The so-called "revealed" XI? It's the same eleven that took to the pitch against Costa Rica last week. Not leaked. Not uncovered. Simply... played. Already witnessed by millions. The Mail's masterstroke has been to identify the team that actually performed, then present this as some sort of managerial bombshell.

According to the reports, Rashford makes way for Anthony Gordon on the left flank. Tuchel apparently wishes to keep dropped players from feeling too downhearted, given that five substitutions mean everyone will likely see some action. A noble sentiment, though it rather sidesteps the awkward question of how those players not "dropped" but simply outperformed by their Costa Rica counterparts are meant to process their situation.

The Bellingham Precedent

The Mail's Craig Hope notes that Jude Bellingham was first off the plane behind captain Harry Kane when the squad arrived in Kansas City on Saturday. This, we're told, suggests the midfielder has leapfrogged Morgan Rogers in the pecking order for the attacking-midfield role. Bellingham being substantially the superior player might have already provided that impression, but apparently his plane-exit choreography seals the matter.

Guehi's Phantom Dropping

Marc Guehi, meanwhile, faces headlines suggesting he could be "dropped" – despite not having featured against Costa Rica. The Sun's digital sports reporter considers him "one of the first names on the teamsheet," yet under Tuchel's management, Guehi ranks ninth among England players in terms of usage. You cannot drop what was never selected.

Storm in a Teacup (Literally)

England's World Cup base endured something of a meteorological incident on Monday. An 80mph wind event, which the tabloids characterised as a "tornado," felled trees in the vicinity and prompted a one-hour lockdown. The Sun's front page screamed of "shaken" players placed under emergency protocols.

A few observations: if you're already indoors with no intention of venturing outside, is "lockdown" really the operative term? And just how near is "near"? Two miles away, whilst undoubtedly windy, hardly qualifies as a brush with calamity. A team source reportedly declared, "This won't blow us off course." Whether such a quote emerged naturally or was summoned into existence for headline purposes remains an open question.

England face Croatia on Wednesday.